It's been almost a week since I've darkened these halls. Not being able to come here has made me suffer from withdrawls. I've tried to post an entry with my phone, but it didn't work out that way. It doesn't seem like the site is set up for use with my Blackberry. But I digress...
My husband starts his courses next month to start down the path of becoming a pastor. I'm excited for him. I'm proud of him, too. He's made a conscious choice to devote himself to God, and it brings me such joy.
We attended services for Ash Wednesday. It was a special service, because it was the first time that services for this was held in our church. It was a blending of several Methodist churches in the area. We all came together to worship together. It was wonderful!
I was disappointed, however. As I glanced around our tiny church, I saw that it was packed wall to wall with people. The thing that disappointed me was that I only saw, perhaps, 7 people from our congregation there, not including me and my family.
After receiving our cross, I sat in the pew staring at the gigantic wooden cross that hangs in front of the church. I sat there lost in my own thoughts.
".. always remember Christ died on the cross for our sins..."
This was part of what was said to me as the pastor's finger glided across my forehead. I sat in my pew hearing it in my head. A strange thing happened to me. It's going to seem to crazy and possibly absurd.
I felt a lump grow in my throat. Tear stung my eyes. My eyes grew wide as a single thought went through my head.. Christ died for us.. He died so we could have a wonderful life..
My husband swears I had a spiritual awakening. He swears that I've allowed myself to believe even more than I did. I'm not sure..
As we left, our pastor chatted with my husband, picked on the children and embraced me. He is always ready with a tight hug for me. He said, "Seeing you here brings me great joy." It made me feel so wonderful, and I am not quite sure why.
As I sit here and type out my entry, I'm realizing how different this blog is from my blog I used to keep on Journalspace. I'm realizing how different I've become, how different my thought processes are and how personal I've allowed this blog to be.
I like the changes that I've been undergoing. I feel a sense of completion, and I feel whole inside. It's an exhilarating feeling.
I feel free.
The Future is 2020 Hindsight
6 years ago
Ironically, we evolve. IF you don't learn and grow from your experiences then you're destined to repeat those lessons.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing.
It is different for me here, too. I don't talk about personal things much at all, like I did at JS. That's likely a good thing, too :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't know how to respond to your comment on my blog; I can only say that I hold all my online friends dear, and I feel things along with them, whether it's joyous or not so much so. I give what support I can, as it has been given to me. One of the changes that I experienced since becoming a blogger is the end of being a somewhat cold, cynical S.O.B.
It is because of everyday, passionate people like you that have made me see more goodness in my interactions with people here and in the flesh.
I thank you for that.
*hugs*
May God bless you and your husband as the spirit moves you.
ReplyDeleteI remember the time that the notion of salvation moved from my head to my heart. It's one thing to intellectually know about Jesus and a totally different thing to make it personal and realize that Christ's death on the cross was for me. His salvation is personal. God doesn't have any grandchildren or nieces or nephews. In other words, you can't have a relationship with Him through your parents or siblings or spouse. Each person must become a child of the King on their own through a personal acceptance of His loving grace.
ReplyDelete