Gold At the End

What a spectacular sight! It thrills me to no end to see a rainbow arching over our house. I hope you can see it in this photo. It was, believe it or not, only the second time I've seen a rainbow like this. I was thrilled!

It leaves me wondering, however, if there is an honest-to-goodness pot of gold at the end of it. I stood outside snapping photos and just staring at it. As I craned my neck to see the end of it, I did not catch a glimpse of any leprechaun or a sparkling pot of gold. But all in all, it held me captivated.

While there is no such thing as an honest-to-goodness pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, there is a pot of gold at the end of a dark journey. I've seen that today.

I wrote in here yesterday about "him". He has been stirring up the shitpot, so to speak, for the past couple of weeks. With every text message I receive or with every bit of news my daughter tells me, I find myself becoming nauseous.

I dug deep inside of myself this morning. I awoken before the children and basked in the silence. I read some scripture and did my morning devotionals, and it dawned on me. It was as if a light came on inside of my head and in my heart.

I knew that I was allowing him to make me feel that way. I was giving him the power to make me feel weak, frustrated and, literally, sick to my stomach. Why was I doing that? Why would I give someone so much power over me? I didn't know the answer, but I knew the solution.

I had it out with him this morning. I didn't scream. I didn't yell, but I did reach deep down inside of myself and find the strength that my husband swears I possess. I found that strength and I used it.

He understands where I stand. He knows, for now, not to purposely try to upset me, and he knows that if he does not cooperate with me, he will find himself in front of a judge. I am adamant about that. He will.

After I said how I feel and told him how it was going to be, I felt an incredibly beautiful feeling of peace wrap around me. It has stayed with me for most of the day.

I found the gold at the end of the rainbow.