Seashells

A small boy races along the shore. The ocean's water gently lapping at his toes as he digs through the cold, wet sand to find seashells. His little hands soon begin to fill. He spots something he desires the most bobbing in the water. He races out to get it. His little legs pumping as hard as they can. He stretches out his hand to grab it, but he can't. His hands are too full.

This is a recited version of a story which was told on a video I viewed at church the other night. Nooma films are incredible short films which unjumbles the thoughts in your head. They make you think and make you see that maybe you aren't living your life as you should. It puts in perspective life and spirituality. They are, to say the least, incredible films to view.

The above recitation was from a powerful short Nooma film called "Shells". It made me see that my hands are constantly full. I have all these little broken shells in my hands that I've collected over the years, and a great majority of those shells can be released back into the ocean.

There is so much on my plate and I'm left wondering whether or not these "things" are worth my time and my effort. Isn't there anyone else that can do these things? I'm not sure.

I spent today racing through a pumpkin field, being jostled around on a hay wagon and fingering fine delicate glass Christmas ornaments. I did all of this with the wide-eyed wonderment of a child. I did all of this without thinking about all of my commitments. I did all of this without reading or responding to email. I did all of this without a care in the world. I did it all the way it should be done.

I stood at a fence and sweetly talked with cows. I closed my eyes as the cows stared at me, and imagined what life would be like if I could walk outside every day and see cows, chickens and smell the intoxication scent of hay. I imagined what life would be like if I had my own fence to lean against as I gently patted the wet nose of cow, without worrying about this or that. I imagined that it would be quite heavenly.

So now I'm left wondering: Am I holding too many shells in my hands? Are the things filling the palms of my small hands worth all the time I dedicate to them?

I spent last night in Nostalgia Land. It is a warm, comforting place where everything seemed, in hindsight, to be simply wonderful. There were no commitments, aside from school. Life was just.. simple, yet complicated at the same time. The complications were nothing that our young souls could not handle, and they created a certain level of drama that most young people thrive on.

I wonder if I were to visit the ocean and walk along the shores, could I release some of these shells and never look back? Would releasing these shells give me some of that simple life back?

The greater question is that would I be content. I'm not sure that I would be. I enjoy doing the things that I do, but I do wish that I had more than just a moment's worth of breathing.

I thought I had it all figured out until I saw this film. Now I'm wondering if my life is what it should be, and I know that I am the only one that can answer that.

Time.. this is what I need.

Until then, I will carry these shells in my hands and pray that they do not cut.