As The Heavens Turn

"I feel so depressed. Please help me."

This is the text message I received today. It's greatly bothersome to see someone that you care about hurting inside. I'm not sure if it's hurt or if it's emptiness. If it's emptiness, I know the feeling all too well.

Three years ago, I was a different person. I cared more about myself than anything or anyone else. I lived in my own world, which only involved my immediate family. No one existed outside of that inner circle, except for a few friends I kept at an arm's length online. I thought I was happy. I soon learned that happiness was not mine.

I didn't realize just how much I lacked a certain level of happiness three years ago until I received that text message this afternoon.

He knows the way that I am. He knows that I am heavily involved in the church, and spend quite a bit of my time either in church, in the Bible or doing mission work. He knows where my beliefs lie. He also knows that I wasn't always like this.

He mentioned that he was thinking about going to church on Sunday. He's searching for something. No, he's searching for happiness with his life and within himself.

It's where I found mine.

I always thought that I was happy, but I was never truly happy inside, where it matters the most. I didn't discover inner happiness until I let my guard down and allowed religion into my life.

In less than six months, I knew that I wanted to be baptized, so I was baptized. In about a year, I knew that I wanted to become a member of the church I minister through, so I attended classes and joined.

Throughout my entire stay with my church, I found myself growing spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. My entire world has changed, and it continues to change daily.

I don't like to push my beliefs on anyone. I am not shy about how I feel about religion nor am I shy in talking about my love of God, if anyone should ask. I wear my faith proudly and without shame.

But when he told me that he was thinking about going to church, I told him to go. I told him that maybe opening up the door to spirituality may change his entire world. It may give him what it has given me: a sense of completion.

Completion... such a beautiful word and it's even more beautiful when you can feel the true meaning of this deep within your soul. I feel it.

I want him to feel it. I don't know if it will be what he wishes for it to be. I don't know what meaning it will have on his life and on his spirit. I do, however, hope and pray that it will give him even a hint of joy. He needs it now.

I wasn't sure what I wanted from going to church. I never imagined that I would receive the many gifts that I have. It's been a beautiful learning experience for me.

I want that for him. I want him to wake up in the morning and feel joy in his heart. I want him to know that God is always there for him. I want him to open his eyes and see. I want him to see that happiness is his. He just needs to reach out for it.

I hope he gets it all. I hope he enters into his place of worship and decides to stay, because he can feel even a glimmer of joy and peace.

He deserves that.