Feedback, Please?

Our oldest son told us last week that his aunt was going to let him move into her home for a couple of months rent-free. She was going to score him a job in her area and give him whatever money he needed. She was doing this to give him the chance to save up money, because well, times are tough. He had decided to not move into the new house with us.

I disapproved of this. My husband disapproved of this. We both felt that his aunt was doing nothing but enabling him. We felt that he should, since he's loudly proclaimed numerous times that he's an adult, buck up to the times and do whatever was necessary to earn the money to survive. We adults do not get "breaks" to get our shit together. We either sink or swim. It's something we felt he needed to learn.

By the way, he is 22 years old and has been living on his own for the past three years.

I get an email from him yesterday. He's upset with us. He's upset that we were actually going to charge him rent. OH MY GOSH, SHOOT US NOW! He was upset because since he said he was not going to move in with us, we were going to give the attached apartment to our 17 year old daughter. She will be 18 in June. How dare us give that to her! She's not worthy of that!

Our 17 year old daughter still has a year left of high school after this one is over. Our 17 year old daughter deserves to have privacy, and we both felt she was old enough to handle living in the apartment. She would've had her own bathroom, kitchen and washer/dryer. She would learn quite a bit about responsibility. I felt it was a good thing.

Here's the kicker. He has made up this plan in his head and wanted to see how we felt about it.

He wants us to give him the chance to live with us, in the new house, rent-free. He will not be required to pay for anything, so he will have the chance to be able to do stuff (parties, bars, rock climbing, etc.). He will also be able to save up the money he needs to pay off a car he's buying, get insurance for it and pay back the loan we gave him. After he got back on his feet, we could negotiate rent payments.

Now, it couldn't be $400 for rent. He's family after all, and we need to treat him as such. $400 is entirely too much for him. I mean after all, he will be helping with yard work and house maintenance and helping his sister with her house. That should count for something. Yet, in the same breath, he says he will hardly ever be home, because of work and school. He plans on going to night school.

Not to mention that he will also be bringing his dog (this dog eats everything) that isn't licensed nor has she ever had a shot. This is a very sore subject with us, because our dogs ARE well taken care of and it doesn't sit right with us to have a dog around them that has not been vaccinated.

Oh did I mention he will be bringing his cat? It is a cat that will have no choice, but to live in one of the barns. She doesn't like using the litter box. Needless to say, I do not think seeing cat logs all over my new house and smelling cat piss in my new house is something that would bring me joy.

Yes, this entry is full of sarcasm. It's dripping with it. I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of him creating havoc in this house. I'm sick of him forever changing his mind.

Blah!