Unbelievable Bullshit

As I write this, my two boys are outside playing a game and talking a mile a minute. I look outside and see two children that are happy, content and know their place in this world. They are well-adjusted, loved and deeply cared about. As most parents would, I would go to the ends of the earth and back for them.

So, with that being said, I am having a difficult time fathoming becoming so selfish that my children would become a second or third priority in my life. Where did this come from? Well, I'll tell you.

I post quite frequently on a forum board online. I'm a self-proclaimed forum junkie. I admit it. I would rather post in a forum that talk one-on-one with individuals. I cannot explain why.

A woman posted an obnoxious thread which described her previous night. She explained that she had been drinking for hours, went to some dude's house (she's not in a relationship with him) and had very rough sex. She stumbled back home to her mother's house with bite marks on her face and bruises all over her body.

So what, right?

Well, she lost custody of her children a few years ago. She is a recovering drug addict. She bounces from house to house. She drinks like a fish (at least most of her postings make it seem this way) and she seems to be doing nothing to try to get custody back of her children.

Her choice of companions are highly questionable. The last one had been in jail for felony robbery. Sweet, eh?

She defends her actions. She claims to not have a drinking problem. She claims to love her children. She also claims to want them back.

This is truly none of my business, I know. She made it public knowledge, so therefore, I feel I can pass judgment (we are all judgmental in our own way) on her and her way of life.

Why is all I want to know. Why does she live her life one way, but her words try to say something else?

How can an individual be so fucking selfish as to have her children be a second thought? Why is it that a child goes forgotten until the parent sobers up?

Why can't a child become his/her parent's primary concern? Why do children get pushed to the wayside?

I don't understand any of that.

I glance outside now and see my boys climbing the cherry tree. All is okay in their worlds. I'm grateful for that.

But I wonder... are her children grateful that their mother comes home at all? Are her children suffering silently over all of this? Why can't she focus on her children instead of focusing on a bottle or on spreading her damn legs?

I don't get people sometimes.

I honestly don't.