Sunday was our oldest daughter's birthday. She stopped by the house before jetting off to her birthday party that her friends were throwing her.
My husband chose a Precious Moments statue as a gift for her. It was entitled "Daddy's Little Girl". I couldn't think of anything special to get her, so I chose a beautiful angel statue. Both gifts were not cheap. Both gifts were, in my opinion, beautiful.
She opened her gifts and said, "Is that all?"
Hmph.. okay.
We didn't want to buy her anything expensive, because quite frankly, we can't afford it. We also did not want to make a big deal about her birthday because she's 24 years old now. She's not a little kid. So, we chose big girl gifts. Entirely appropriate, but seemingly not good enough.
She stayed for a half an hour or so. I'm not entirely sure of exactly how long she stayed.
But...
The entire time she was here all she talked about was her mother.
The few that read me regularly know that this burns my ass and crawls up my ass like a bug. I can't stand it. I hate it.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the cause of disharmony between father and daughter. I don't want to put my husband into a position where he has to choose between the two of us.
But...
I can't fucking stand it anymore!
I don't know whether I should try to explain to her how much it hurts me, especially since I welcomed her into my family with open arms and supported every endeavor she's undertook. I never thought of her as a step-daughter. I've never treated her as such either.
So, I find it disrespectful and hurtful for her to constantly talk about her mother when she's here. I don't understand why she's doing it. Her father has spoken to her about it. He doesn't want to hear about her mother either!
I don't understand it.
I don't like it.
It hurts.
A lot.
I've gotten to the point where I have told my husband that when she comes over, I will be leaving. I will not stay at home while she's here, because I don't want to deal with it anymore. I can't deal with it anymore.
I've told him that I hate having to do it, and I do, but I can't sit here and continually listen to her talk about her mother.
Not in my house.
Blah... someone help me out here. Am I being overly-sensitive? Am I wrong in feeling the way I do?
The Future is 2020 Hindsight
6 years ago
Don't leave when she comes over....but get up IMMEDIATELY and leave the moment she mentions her. That might get the message across. It might be especially effective if you're in the middle of fixing dinner and then everyone goes hungry.
ReplyDeleteAs for the gifts. Awesome. But as you get older you end up just being happy the day gets recognised. lol Gifts are an unexpected bonus. Little ingrate.
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like someone spoils her. Does the mother?. She's being a brat intentionally for some reason, that's fairly obvious. At 24?, she'll get a rude awakening one day.
You're not being overly sensitive. It's about respect. She just needs to grow up.
What's your twitter name?.
Nope, not overly sensitive. I like Yacky's idea... but warn hubby first.
ReplyDeleteMe, I'd lock the front door as she approached, but that could be construed as a bit over the top :-)
Im a teen and by the sounds of it ur daughter is acting alot like one 2, so maybe you should start treating her like one. ok the present thing was pretty bitchy, theres no denying it. As for her mother however, maybe she dosnt realise it hurts you so much, maybie she just realy loves her mum. you should talk to her aboout it, dont shift it off on to your hubby, trust me that will just annoy her and make her want to do it even more. Maybe you have done somthing to offend her that you dont know about. Talk about how you feel and maybe she will open up to you and the 2 of you can sort things out (without your husband)
ReplyDeletemaybe u should ask her what she likes her next birthday instead of just assuming she likes somthing a middle aged person would like.
ReplyDelete